Such a little thing...

(Note: I dusted this old one off, because my sentiments are still the same. Many things in it have changed, but it makes no difference as it still goes out as a giant hug to all my friends who read this)



A client sent me flowers today. He told me that he appreciated all the extra work I did for him, and since it wasn't appropriate to hug me, flowers it was. He reminds me of my uncles, Italian men with expressive faces and hands that illustrate every word they say. The rest of my office would have been uncomfortable had this kindly older man given me a hug. I would have thought it perfectly natural. There were a few times during his frustrating matter, through no fault of his own, that I felt like hugging him too.


I come from a touchy clan. It takes half an hour to greet and appropriately hug and kiss...beginning respectfully with the elderly and working your way down. Nobody claims "personal space" around them either. First of all, there's not enough room given the amount of people who usually show up. Secondly, you can't be that far away for the constant nudging and stroking necessary in conversation. We don't know how to emphasize without physical contact.


I'd like to hug some of my clients. I'd like to hug the people who serve up my coffee every morning. Sometimes I have to restrain myself from hugging my granddaughter as much as I'd like. She's old enough now to squirm away to more interesting things than being squeezed and smooched by me. I did impulsively hug my boss once when he gave me a nice bonus, and I think he was surprised but only mildly embarrassed.


My husband's family was not used to the likes of this. They are far more reserved in a "How do you do," sort of way. A quick peck on the cheek and a little shoulder clasp of a second or two is about it. They are respectful of each others space and talk one at a time. They wait for for someone to stop speaking instead of interrupting....and even notice when somebody interrupts them. Then along comes full-body- hugging-kiss-on-both-cheeks-and-a-little-rub-on-the-back-of-the-neck-yackety-yack - me. The Eye-talian girl who married in.


A number of years later they're all used to me, although I'm still the only dark-haired, dark-eyed chatterer in the bunch. About three years in, my father-in-law told me that he loved it when I came to visit because I always hugged and kissed him....coming and going.