The Thermostat Wars

Since it has been abnormally hot recently, I dug this one out for a little
imaginary respite.


It is cold in my office. Not chilly, not a little brisk, but FREAKING cold. This is due to a curious quirk of human nature that prompts certain people to "adjust" the damn thermostat every time they walk past it.
I've come to the conclusion that the thermostat brings out a primal need to demonstrate control, and that the individuals who succumb to this urge have no control over anything else in their lives. It's either that, or controlling the temperature of their immediate surroundings makes them the Grand Masters of some tiny universe.
The way it works here is that there is a centrally located thermostat. It is illogically placed in a hallway that is half cold from the elevator shaft, and half very warm due to the proximity of a radiator. The thermostat gets a regular cold breeze simultaneously with the signal that it should shut itself off because the radiator close by is hot. Cold flash, hot flash. The unfortunate device probably thinks it’s in menopause. The thing is, if it is left on a constant higher temperature of about 78 degrees, it sufficiently heats all of our offices and we are able to work without coats, gloves and leg-warmers.
The "climate control" freaks here cannot grasp this concept, nor can they control their tendency to "touch and adjust." I will not divulge which sex they are. Suffice to say that they are the same ones who, beginning at a very tender age, cannot keep their hands off themselves either.
It has escalated into a true cold war between the trembling ladies and the rest...the ones who beat their chests and proclaim, " Why THIS is invigorating ! It's Good for you! It keeps you alert!" I suppose that real men don't publicly shiver. Not one of them will admit to adjusting the temperature down when it’s up, and up when it’s down. The setting changes almost hourly, but nobody in the Kingdom knows who toucheth.
My opinion is that the thermostat has given up and is just pretending to actually send any signals to the furnace. It now just blinks its numbers and fakes it. The unified shivering contingent among us can relate. It feels toyed with, taken advantage of, lied to, and left holding the bag. And no amount of sweet talk is going to make it any better.